Getting Along with People:  Building Healthy Relationships

Getting along with people can be one of the toughest challenges on this planet. People are unpredictable. Some people even bite. Some of us can easily handle the stress from dealing with many people, but others of us may find it a cumbersome challenge.

Here is some advice on getting along with others:

Be friendly to all in all in your relationships with others. If you want to be well liked by most people, you simply have to be friendly with all. Engaging in a continual effort to be friendly towards all in whatever situation and at whatever time will eventually win you much respect, but it does take time. Even if people do not mention it directly to you, they will sense that you are a comrade to all. This is not to say you should fake your friendliness. Your sincerity should be coming from within your soul. Nor should you be doing things that are against your conscience, but to act according to how you believe every one on this planet should be treated, which is equally, fairly, and sincerely.

Try your best and move on in all relationships. Sometimes, no matter how hard you try, someone may still not like you. It may, in fact, have nothing to do with you at all. It may simply be that that other person has seen behaviors in you that have resembled some of the behavior he has seen in people in the past who turned out to not be good. For example, if you speak loudly and in the past he had a friend who also spoke loudly, but later betrayed him, he may not like you no matter how hard you try to please him. So, if you have given your best shot, do not dwell on it. Move on. If he does not want to be your friend or be supportive of you, let it be.

Communicate assertively with other people.  Generally, the assertive style type of behavior is most favored when dealing with people in your relationships. In assertive behavior, you are neither aggressive nor passive. You speak how you feel, without the fear of not being able to speak what you want to, in a non-threatening way to others. This should also generate assertive behavior from the opposite side if done well. 

Be permissive. Let others have their way sometimes. Of course, if you really believe in something, you should try to persuade them to your viewpoint. However, if it's a minor issue, just let others have their way. If they want to leave their container in the refrigerator and it is not really bothering you, you should just let them have their way. It is also good for your health to not rant about everything, but just to take it easy. Other people may even have a reason for doing what they did.

Become an expert at implicit conversation. The people who most skillfully get things done are those who do not seem to have even asked another person to have done it. It just seems to be a natural extension of the conversation. Similarly, it also requires skill to be able to worm your way out before you get attacked, criticized, or disliked by others. You must recognize when such occurrences will occur and be wary of them. By keeping alert for any possibility, you will be more prepared.

In summary, to get along with people and build healthy relationships, you should try to:

A. Be friendly to all.

B. Try your best and move on.

C. Communicate assertively.

D. Be permissive.

E. Become an expert at implicit conversation.

Life Skills > Communication Skills > Getting Along with People:  Building Healthy Relationships